Love

It really sucks sometimes, this being single thing. I enjoy my independence, and my freedom and so on. But there are days when having someone next to me would be a welcome change. I've been single now for a good five years, with the occasional meaningless fling thrown in but never anything that wound up lasting. Lately though its just been annoying being alone. Everywhere I go it seems there are happy couples waiting for me to walk by. Both my sister and mom had been married for 3 years by the time they reached my age. They keep telling me "We were married too young. You're still young. Its not bad to be single, just be patient." Even though they keep telling me they were married too young, my parents have made it thirty-some years, and my sister and brother-in-law are very happily married. Yes, I am still young, but I've been young and hardly dating and only in one relationship which wasn't much of a relationship at all seeing as he cheated and got engaged right after we broke up. They have always had someone, while I have always been alone. So when I get frustrated, and even hopeless I feel like its a normal feeling to have. When I run into friends I haven't seen for years and we catch up, the question that always comes up after they spill all the details about their happy relationship with this amazing guy is, "so is there someone special in your life?" "Nope." "oh, any potential for anyone?" "Nope." I've had this conversation at least 3 times so far just THIS YEAR and its FEBRUARY. 

Then I watched the movie He's Just Not That into You, and it was great, I felt good afterwards like "YEAH! I don't have to waste my time on losers who don't really like me!!" Then the depression hit, "Damn it, there are a lot of guys who haven't been that into me! Why not?" SO my married male friend tells me its not me, its the guys, I'm just fine, and there is a guy out there who will finally be enough and be that into me. So that sounds great, I want to hear that. Pardon me for not quite believing it when I keep running across losers, cowards, lame asses, and liars and I'm 25 but can't even get asked out on a single freaking date! 

And online dating services are just allowing men to be cowards because they don't have to have the balls to go up to a girl and ask her out face to face and I refuse to use them. 

I've liked the same guy for like 6 years, and I'm sure nothing will ever come of it, though I don't know if its because "he's just not that into me" or because he's just a wee bit of a coward. 

There is a new guy who I could be interested in, but yet again, I just can't tell, and its annoying. 

I'd like to finally have someone take a chance on me.